Favorite lessons from the Four Agreements

"Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future."-Deepak Chopra

The Four Agreements has been a sanity touchstone for me. The book and principals of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz model simple living. The Four Agreements has guided me in my growth and has been the seed to most of my blossoming beliefs. I use the four agreements as ground rules for different groups I work with. I also reflect on them from time to time and still learn so much from these ideas.

In keeping my word, I have become more confident in my yes's and no's.. With that I set more realistic goals for myself. I also have become increasingly reliable being that if I make a commitment, it is with 100% effort. As a writer, I continue to play with words and always ask what is my intention behind them. Words have energy and I do my best to "do unto others, as you would like done unto you."

In avoiding assumptions, I like to ask clarifying questions to be thorough and to avoid any misunderstandings. It is important to learn and know what you need and want. Others can not read your mind nor do they want to. Everyone understands situations and conversations differently as we are all unique individuals. The more questions you ask, the more likely some common understanding will be established. Why guess what people are thinking, when we can simply ask. On the other side, I have also learned to make requests for what I need.

When I don't take things personally, I focus on the bigger picture and know that life goes beyond just me. I have avoided so much pain and suffering from living this principal day to day. I have come to understand when others criticize me and try to put their actions on me, that in fact it is about their experience and how they see themselves in the world. We are responsible for ourselves, not anyone else. I am the only person responsible for my feelings and the only person responsible for the decisions I make just like no is a complete sentence.

In doing my best, knowing that I tried whether I succeed or fail, makes all the difference. Your best will look different under changing circumstances. You do better when you’re well and emotionally level. If you know who you are, you know when you are doing your best and when you can give more. In living simply, doing your best not only yields better results, it makes you feel good. I sleep well at night knowing that I give 100% and also knowing that my 100% will look different tomorrow.