A moment for poets and the creative

Creativity is an undervalued part of ourselves. As a community we downplay the arts in schools and how it opens us to grow, focus and learn. I never considered myself a creative person although I have been writing poetry since I was twelve. Over the past two years, I have changed my perspective on creativity and have committed to this blog, and embraced that writing is one of my creative outlets. I am also contributing to the book, “The Empowered Woman; Purpose, Passion & Possibilities” out next summer.

I am a poet and it’s not too surprising being that my generation grew up on hip hop. In fact one of my classmates from junior high school became a rapper, a female rapper. We would listen in on the boys when they formed their ciphers before and after school. I lived with insomnia those days and would happily tune in to all the latest hip hop at 1 and/or 2 am in the morning. I would often tape these early morning radio sessions and share the music with friends to discuss, debate and enjoy.

We are all born with our gifts and talents. Most of them can be part of our purpose. It took me a long time to treasure mine. I encourage you to embrace your creative selfs and use your gifts and talents as outlets. Take pleasure in your gifts and the best way to do that is to share them! These talents and gifts can heal you and others; and allow you to become that peaceful warrior when you need to be. How do you channel your creative and positive energies? What is your creative outlet?

With the recent passing of Amiri Baraka, I felt even more compelled to celebrate poetry for a moment. How many poets do you know and celebrate? How often do we celebrate creativity and our creative selves? Everyone should enjoy and pleasure in their creative outlet. Commit to an acting class, dancing class, painting class, writing class, and/or anything else you always wanted to try and have denied yourself.

Let me end with another moment for poets. Let’s take a moment for Russell Simmons for his successful attempts to celebrate poetry and bringing it to the masses with HBO series like Def Poetry Jam, and Brave New Voices; and bringing Def Poetry to Broadway and across the country. Let’s take a moment for the film, Slam for its popularity and critical acclaim. Let’s take a moment to salute poets like Amiri Baraka for such bravery in his story telling in poetry. Let’s take a moment for poets. Let’s take a moment for creativity. Who are your creative s/heroes? Who and/or what do you need to take a moment for?

Becoming a peaceful warrior

We are all in a battle with our minds, weeding out different messages that harm us, lift us, don’t come from us and sometimes destroy us. The war in our minds is won by reviewing your beliefs from time to time. Always detox your beliefs and release those that no longer serve you. Should you believe or not believe these messages? Do they still serve you in this moment? Where did current beliefs come from? What are the values and beliefs that have been with you through the good, bad and indifferent?

In this life journey, your peaceful warrior engages less and less in battle when you decide to learn the dance within your mind, quieting it and listening to your inner true self and what you truly need in the moment. Once you have figured out your dance with your mind, you can expect to win battles faster. The stories we tell ourselves, the excuses, and “the gremlins” as Brene Brown in her book, the Gifts of Imperfections refers to the negative noise from your ego are only distractions that prepare for your defeat.

The peaceful warrior uses all the non violent skills in their tool box for a victory. Tools like emotional intelligence, being inclusive, practicing and role modeling compassion even for one’s self. I agree with the words from the Dalai Lama, “World peace must develop from inner peace. Peace is not just mere absence of violence. Peace is, I think, the manifestation of human compassion.”

When you reach a point where you are winning more and more battles within your mind, you can gather the strength against the external forces that want to dominate faster as well; like when others are calling you names, and spiting out negativity. Be such a peaceful warrior that bullets just roll off your back and all you feel is forgiveness for the person in arms and gratitude it is NOT you anymore. Naturally, every once in awhile you will get hit with that bullet and have to remind yourself of the peaceful warrior you know yourself to be. How do you arrive to your peaceful warrior?

Let’s foster goodness and more mental stability; I believe this to be the inner peace that the Dalai Lama was speaking of. Fight the mental unrest and confusion with your quiet time and learning your individual dance with your mind. In this world that is moving so fast, we need to aspire toward honesty, patience and peace. Allow your peaceful warrior to emerge through activities and practices that calm and quiet you.

A call for peace

A call for peace

As we celebrate another Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, let us call for and on peace. Let’s call for peace in our lives, in the lives of others and in the world. To be in peace does not mean to be in silence and in isolation from what is happening around you. In fact, it is about allowing the deepest parts of you to feel at peace despite what is happening around you and in the world. This perhaps may be an invitation to raise your awareness of your response ability. How can we as individuals and communities move more peacefully and meaningfully in the world? What small steps and commitments can we make to ourselves, each other and our communities?

Many of us idealize Martin Luther King Jr. and Ghandi for that matter for their tenacity and dedication to peace and nonviolence. Perhaps we should do more than idealize them and commit to ourselves and each other to adapt some of their values and life strategies they influenced the world with. Both demonstrated that a single person with strong values can spark movements and inevitably bring larger change for the good of so many.

Celebrating leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. can cause us to view leadership from an impossible lens of responsibility and sacrifice that can be overwhelming. Instead of comparing ourselves to such a leader, we should spend time finding the parts of ourselves that connect us and allow us to bring them to life in our own way. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the troubles and challenges many of us face, let’s look at how we can meaningfully contribute the gifts and talents we have right now. Whether you touch one person or many people, a positive and peaceful impact is what it is. Are you ready and willing to practice more compassion, more love, and more peace?

Peace for me also means to act in non-violent ways. Non-violent ways is simply making choices that don’t hurt yourself and others verbally, emotionally and/or physically. Non violent practices use faith, healing, courage and gratitude over fear, judgment and being right. According to Marshall Rosenberg, the founder and director of educational services for the Center for Nonviolent Communication, “Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don’t see an enemy and second, your intentions are not to make the other side suffer.”

What will it take for each of us to be more peaceful in the world? Could you be more kind to yourself? Could you commit to an act of kindness once a month? Once a week? Everyday? Could you commit to being kind in the absence of a natural disaster and/or tragedy? Could we commit to being happier people? Living happier lives? Decide what commitment you can make for yourself, today. This is how we can honor Martin Luther King Jr. and ourselves at the same time. Let’s remember, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”- Martin Luther King Jr.

Accountability: the underutilized strategy

Accountability is an excellent way to empower staff and others around you. Many leaders struggle with what accountability really is and how to use it to move organizations and people forward. It is about being responsible to yourself and following through with commitments you have agreed to. It is about accepting responsibility for outcomes whether good, bad or indifferent.

What Accountability is NOT.

Our culture has allowed a victim mindset and competition to corrupt what accountability is and can truly be. Blaming, shaming and threatening are not ways to motivate others. I do not know anyone who is motivated by verbal threats about possibly losing something like a job or a relationship. Actually, these actions usually lead to distrust, dislike, and other not so good feelings about self and others. Accountability is about bringing people together and motivating them not pushing them away to feel isolated, alone and/or shamed.

Tough love gets mistaken for accountability and is also misused and misunderstood. Tough love is about setting boundaries and saying no with compassion. Most people think it is saying no and rubbing it in someone’s face (the competition influence, again). Some experience hardship with setting boundaries so saying no becomes so loud it hurts people’s feelings. This may be a sign to practice saying no. Again, accountability can be traced back to the classic saying, “Do undo others as you have others do unto you.”

How we can use Accountability

One of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is keeping your word. For some time I thought it was about keeping my word to others and then I realized that it is about keeping your word to yourself. For me, this is what accountability is all about. Get to know yourself enough to make promises to yourself that you know you will keep and are passionate about.

Accountability is something to practice and adapt to your lifestyle. It took me years to embrace it myself. After trial and error of making commitments that were hard for me to keep. Courage showed up for me in ways that I did not image, it allowed me to ask for what I needed to fulfill my agreements. I was able to ask for deadline extensions, equipment, to engage other colleagues, ask questions about why a deadline was set and renegotiated so I could meet the new one without killing myself. All these things made me a better team member and more invested in the bigger picture.

There are times when you can say no. Should more duties come you way, prioritize your duties and see how you can team up with other colleagues. Get to know yourself enough to know what you are fully capable of. If your plate gets filled up, ask for help. Go to your manager/supervisor/colleague and talk out whom it would be appropriate to assign particular duties and ask about what should be priority. This way you bring your team together while gaining or polishing some of your skills. Notify and talk to your supervisor if you don’t think you are going to make a deadline and together you can make a plan of action to succeed.

For leaders and managers, accountability is about holding up the bigger picture and supporting others in the smaller steps to arrive at the bigger picture. The best way to support your colleagues is to 1) Role model accountability especially when you make mistakes 2) Hold yourself and others to the agreements/commitments and deadlines they have agreed to 3) Use “I” statements and 4) remind yourself and others that being honest about your gifts and talents helps everyone. Accountability is about showing ownership over your actions and decisions.