Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Courage

There is such strength in the word courage; I did not even need to add any other word to this blog title. According to the Merriam Webster online dictionary the definition of courage is mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. One of my favorite things about even just the word, courage is that the root of the word is the Latin word for heart. I am a total heart person meaning I operate from the heart.

Courage is my favorite virtue. I have courage to thank for such a great life. It has allowed me to move through fear and go for it, anyway. Because of it, I have explored new aspects in my life, and new aspects of myself. Because of it, I have jumped into new physical spaces and agreed to calculated risks. It helps me move beyond my beliefs and pushes myself to follow my instincts. This means that you trust yourself even when you’re scared to take that leap. It helps me to continue to open my heart to new directions and new opportunities.

Courage helps us to push and challenge ourselves so we can expand ourselves and try new things. It takes courage to set boundaries and say no. It takes courage to have your own opinion and be okay with it. It takes courage to share with people who you are with flaws and all. It takes courage to voice experiences and tell stories. It takes courage to do your own thing and make decisions that you stand with for yourself and not others. Being different can be hard and it is easier to be you, sometimes it just isn’t what others are doing at the moment.

Courage brings to mind the cowardly lion from Wizard of Oz. Is he really cowardly or is the lion like so many of us, walking through life paralyzed by fear? Some of us have more consciousness of the way we carry our fears than others. Having my pulse on my courage levels allows me to take leaps even when I am still very much afraid.

I am very grateful for how courage continues to show up in my life. Without it, I would not have been able to live in two different unfamiliar cities. I would not have been able to write this and other contributing writings. I would not have been surprised by myself and ventured into new initiatives that have made impacts that I would have never imagined. So join me in continuing to embrace and confront the cowardly lion. It takes courage to be honest with one’s self and even let that lion know when we are not ready. It takes courage to ask for what you need.

I am looking to courage to bring on the rest of the “C” words like compassion, consciousness, creativity, …. Let courage be there for you now and let yourself be surprised, excited, restful and playful as well as calm, contemplative and courageous.



Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Movement is a gift

Motion is constantly around us, so why can change be so difficult? Change is a constant in life. We start a new, everyday. We take risks everyday, every time we leave our homes, so why is change such a challenge to embrace. Our daily routines are not exactly the same from day to day. Some days we have more energy, are in better moods. Other days it is a struggle to keep our commitment to routines that we purposely began. Are we afraid of change or are we afraid of what comes along with it. Are the difficulties of the change process about our fear of uncertainty?

I have transformed my suspicions of change because of how gracefully I have made it through some life changing situations. Change has pushed me in ways I could not have imagined. It has allowed me to grow more and more into my own being and person. Change has brought possibilities into my life that have improved my being and circumstance. As Wayne Dyer states, “change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change.”

So I guess, I am asking you to review your values and beliefs about change. Embracing change and growth might really be about letting go of certainty and opening yourself to uncertainty. Movement is a gift. Your life movement and growth is a gift. It is a gift to yourself and others to be your highest self. This usually comes about as a result of changes and growth in our lives.

Faith and forgiveness have been two of my favorite words and practices this year. Brene Brown shares in the Gifts of Imperfections, her definition of faith, “faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” Although I will continue to practice faith and forgiveness as we say goodbye to 2013, I have a new focus for the New Year: the “C” words like courage, change, compassion, consciousness, and embracing uncertainty as opposed to certainty.

I encourage you to give change a try, see where it takes you. Use some of that courage like I do. Matter of fact, I would encourage you to seek change out from time to time. Switch up your routine when an opportunity presents itself. Anything is achievable particularly in small steps. Just make a slight change and see what happens should it come forth naturally. This is why flowing with what comes works and why “f” words made it happen for me in 2013.

Here’s to the gift of movement, forward movement. Thanks “f” words, I know that one thing to be certain of is uncertainty. I look forward to your support “C” words in my movement in 2014.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Resolution Review


The tradition of resolutions began with promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named. Resolutions were a pledge to be good to others. I think it is about time to update what resolutions can be. Instead of starting something new and/or making a promise to end a bad habit, set some realistic goals that will impact your New Year in a bigger and more meaningful way.

Resolutions shouldn’t be another Christmas list of fantasies and wishes for the New Year. Why not make resolutions work for you. The challenge with how resolutions have been used is that there can be too many and they are usually too broad. We need to look beyond just the moment of celebration and make real promises to ourselves; promises that we can commit to for the entire New Year. Here are some ways you can customize your resolutions in a helpful way:

1. What are your intentions? Ask yourself why you would like to make this pledge. This allows for clear intentions. Being honest with yourself about your intentions only helps you set clear targets and address key themes and situations in your life. This will help you set a clear and realistic vision for the New Year. Where would you like to be in a year? Why?
2. Be specific. In order to be successful, you must focus on a few themes and targets. Making a list of things to do and just trying to sustain the new, fresh energy from the height of the celebrations is not as helpful as setting targeted goals to address. What do you need from yourself in this New Year? From others? Why?
3. Set small goals. Once you have a clear vision, you can begin to set small goals that move you closer to your vision. Slow and steady wins the race, just ask the turtle.
4. Have fun. Resolutions are not meant to be chores, they are meant to uplift and better your life. If you are honest with yourself and have set a clear and realistic vision then most likely the changes that you are committed to will bring you joy.

To update resolutions in the world we live in today is going to have to take much undoing and unlearning on all of our parts. At least these are some small steps you can take to begin the process. I for one have never taken on resolutions. For this New Year, I have already selected my year long theme and have carved out two solid goals that will get me on my way. Perhaps one day, this tradition will be known to all as a resolution.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Gift Giving

Being in the middle of the holiday season, I am reminded of the true values of the holidays. Tired of the marketing and selling of products frenzy, I have gotten away during the holidays to remove myself from the craziness. In an attempt to blind myself as much as I possibly can, I feel blessed that I have been able to remove myself and be with family of my choosing.

I do have to give it to the deals this year. At least there was a small business Saturday and cyber deals on Monday. I am sure the rest of the days of the week will be covered soon. It nice to see that money is trying to be spread all around instead of taking the lack approach and acting like there isn’t enough for everyone. Here’s the thing though, the holidays aren’t about gift giving, is it? Gift giving is just good for business or is it? I do enjoy gift giving during the holidays and for me that is spreading love and devoting quality time to loved ones. Yes that is a gift. Remember that is why we call it the present. As adults, how much time do we spend playing together? Singing together? Just having a good time?

Yes, I am the simple and ready to make gift type. I enjoy putting in time making meaningful gifts for those I love. I make photo albums and favorite meals/deserts, watch favorite movies and try to ignore all the messages and distractions that we are bombarded with during this buying season. I give away old clothes and recycle unused gifts. It is great to start off the New Year with a clean closet and clutter free space.

So this season, I invite you to choose your gifts, wisely. Be intentional and be willing to truly connect with those you love. As Maya Angelou says, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you make them feel.” Happy Holidays!

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

How I got over myself


How I got over myself: strategies for effective leadership and teamwork.

Practicing selflessness is such a key skill in the leadership world, today.  This does not mean you need to give up yourself, it just means that you give yourself with service and focus on the greater good as opposed to reacting and responding to your needs alone.  I have witnessed first hand how effective it can be when apart of a small team focused on a huge goal.  It was such a great experience; I do my best to create it over and over in everything I do.  It is simple for me; it comes down to caring for my team members while focusing on the greater good of a shared project with meaningful goals.  I am not suggesting abandoning your personal goals rather align them with the betterment of the team in order to reach common goals. 

Selflessness is something you have to practice.  The largest internal struggle to overcome in order to get over yourself is being able to put your ego in check regularly so you can clearly hear your inner voice and whispers.  It is like one of the key steps Maslow describes in his book, Farther Reaches of Human Nature, step 5 in reaching self actualization is, “identifying your ego defenses and finding the courage to give them up.”  My intention as always is to guide you through some exploration so that your mind opens to new ideas and you build your capacity for making clear intentions for yourself in moving your journey forward in the best way you are able. 

More people are getting over themselves than you would image.  Through conversation and interaction with others, I see the search for greater meaning and being more purposeful in life.  The most difficult times in life seem to be when we are disconnected from each other and from spirit, our true selves.  Working on ourselves and especially on how we feel about ourselves is ongoing.  Naturally, the ego does not help much.  Here are some ways I get over myself and minimize my ego:

  1. Everything is NOT ABOUT YOU.  I practice the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz; one in particular is “Don’t take things personal.”  He goes on to explain, “Nothing other people do is because of you.  It is because of themselves.  All people live in their own dream in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one you live in.”
  2. Stay present and focused.  I mediate and practice mindfulness with the intention of being more present in the moment everyday.  Through this practice I am able to make decisions with confidence and hear “gut-feelings” clearly.  My instincts feel spot on and at times it feels like I move with magic.
  3. SURRENDER. Again this helps to be in the present moment as opposed to dwelling too much in the past and/or future.  My attempt to let go more and more moves me to set new intentions, regularly which allows for a clear focused path to move along. 
  4. Why take yourself so seriously?  Again this reminds me that everything is NOT about me.  It also adds some playfulness which we as adults could use more of in our lives.  I am okay with laughing at myself and having realizations about my being and actions.
  5. Set mindful intentions.  Setting intentions brings clarity and consciousness to what you hope to achieve.  Certainly this helps with motivation to achieve goals by being your most authentic self.
Getting over yourself will lead you to a greater sense of oneness which is the essence of teamwork.  Teamwork is the most meaningful strategy in leadership today, so get to it people!  I did and I felt the benefits.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

"F" bombs

These perspectives of “f” bombs are words that happen to begin with the letter f that can be considered f bombs to some.  As an individual who is on a never ending journey to better myself, I like to examine the unexamined and challenge us to meet the needs of our true selves as opposed to what early learnings and outside influences have taught and hypnotized us with.  My intention is to guide you through some exploration so that your mind clears up and you build your capacity for making clear intentions for yourself in moving your journey forward in the best way you are able. 
Lately, how many times have you talked about, thought and/or used the following five words: forgiveness, faith, fear, feelings, forward?    
Forgiveness
The “f” in forgiveness stands for freedom.  When you forgive others, you free yourself of the situation.  Forgiveness is so powerful because when we forgive, we let go and surrender.  Forgiveness is more for you than any other person.  Usually, we need to forgive ourselves in any situation.  We forget how hard we are on ourselves because of society’s influence of looking outside of ourselves and learning easily to blame others.  In fact most grievances we have with others are really disguised as a grievance we have with ourselves.  Learning how to love this part of you, your shadow is a most challenging solution.  Forgiveness is a huge part of getting through and meeting this challenge.  Loving all parts of you, the good, the bad and the ugly breaks through the core grievance with others and most importantly with yourself.  
Faith
Keeping and restoring faith are two of the hardest things to do.  Believing in the unseen and encouraging others to, is no easy task.  Yet, that is at the center of any spiritual and/or religious practice.  I started to learn the strength and meaning of faith when I was sixteen and met a woman name Faith who survived abuse and lived with such grace.  We were friends for some time and I admired her peacefulness, probably as others might admire mine.  She held such great presence without being loud, or calling attention to herself.  She taught me the leadership quality of kindness and certainly role modeled how to believe deeper in yourself. 
I think people struggle with what to have faith in.  How about yourself, your instincts, the greater universe?  That is what I have faith in.  At times, I struggle because I allow outside influences to question my faith and then I have to post the mental yield sign up in my mind to reject these negative messages.
Fear
Fear is the “f” word; no one talks about and is felt most.  Thank goodness for self help books, they remind us that we actually do have a choice in a matter.  You have a choice of fear or love.  Our society is entrenched in fear, forgetting that love is a choice we can make.  This is why meditation is such a powerful practice.  Meditation helps you center yourself which allows you to feel secure and this can help you build courage to choose love. 
Much of fear comes from not knowing, from outside influences, from beliefs that we are attached to that no longer serve us and from being stuck in past experiences.  This is why faith is so important, without it, fear can rule and rock our world.
Fear distracts you from your original intention.  It can be such a strong emotion and you still can choose love, opening yourself up to staying focused and forward thinking.  As well as setting the best intentions for your future while staying in the present moment as best you can.
Feelings
A feeling is the “f” word we need to talk about more.  Expressing emotions allows for the ability to focus (another great “f” word) on the present moment and move forward in the best direction in the moment.  Feelings are the responsibility of the one who feels them.  No one can make you feel a certain way, you choose your feelings.  Learning and identifying your emotions helps to express your feelings in a healthy and meaningful way.  This builds our emotional intelligence and assists us with making decisions.
Forward
Last but not least, the “f” word we actually live for to move forward.  The life journey is meant to move forward.  Mistakes and failures are natural processes for us to make better decisions when other familiar situations arise so that our journey continues in the best direction.  Life distractions take away our focus.  Society has taught us to focus on the negative on what we do not want rather than focusing on what we do want.  We need to focus forward without living in the future to much.  We need to focus on forward thinking without leaving the present moment.  It is a delicate balance of learning from our past, being in the present and moving forward toward our future.  I have faith that you can do it.
Just dropped some powerful “f” bombs on you and I did not have to use the most famous one, F***.  Fabulous!