Sit with it

I often get asked about sitting through hard emotions. What do you do when sadness hits you hard or when even anger feels overwhelming? Because as a society we are taught to bury emotions/feelings, we do not know how to embrace negative and/or positive feelings. We must learn to listen to our bodies and what these feelings are trying to tell us.

The first step is to let yourself feel. Again, because we are taught to overlook our feelings, we don't even let ourselves feel. Numbness becomes a regular body state because our priorities are on outward outcomes. Perhaps it is time to start working from the inside out as opposed to the outside in. I say, get to know your feelings, what do you feel when happy, sad, or mad?

What feelings do you want to feel? Last year I meditated on love for a month and felt like I was more welcoming, more kind and more open. Once you get in the habit of feeling particularly good feelings you embrace them easily. Now when your feelings and emotions come over you, you can recognize it and make room to feel them. When they are not the best emotions and feelings you want to feel, sitting with them means you are releasing these emotions in the best way you can. This could mean you need to silently scream in a bathroom stall until you get home from work or it may mean that you need to take a long lunch break and cry.

Physically, it is about letting these emotions bubble up and over. It is also about finding healthy ways to let them leave your body. Going for a run might help, or getting to that zumba class. Emotionally, exploring why this is happening now and what may have initiated such strong feelings may help you the next time strong feelings come on.

The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte offers a way to transform emotions. She goes on to say, "Feelings are how you perceive life. Perception informs how you live." Her strategy is to set intentions according to what you desire to feel. For me, when you focus on good feelings you can't go wrong.