Know thyself

I recently had some awareness during a recent conversation about the difference between knowledge of self and self-awareness.  I have noticed that when we speak of knowledge of self, there is a lot of cultural heritage and/or history involved.  As opposed to self awareness where you take note of your responses to situations, your personal patterns and behaviors.  Both allow you to get to know you and there is still a difference.

Self-awareness can operate on many levels.  There is the concept of self value which is how you see and hold yourself within yourself.  There is self esteem which is how you see and hold yourself in the face of others.  Finally, there is also self worth which is what you believe you deserve based on the value you place on yourself and the value you are to others.  Self-awareness helps us move through all of these levels.

Self esteem always seems to be analyzed because we are an external focused society.  I hear the word consistently in conversations regarding younger generations.  Perhaps we should be focused on how we impart both knowledge of self and increase self-awareness.  The more you know about yourself, the better you are at making the best decisions for yourself.  The better you are about adjusting to new and sometimes unexpected circumstances.

With the recent release of the film about NWA, Straight Outta Compton, this all remains me of that Ice Cube song, Check yo self.  How can we check ourselves before we wreck ourselves without self awareness.  The self knowledge and introspection need to be there.  The popular philosopher, Socrates stated over and over again to know thyself.  As one of his most famous quotes goes, "The unexamined life is not worth living."

How to community build

My dreams work when my team works.  This is the best way to build community.  Transforming our work team into a functional family may be a desire of any manager.  We spend so much time with our work family.  We need to make the absolute best of it.

As a community builder, I believe in using management and leadership skills at the same time.  I believe there to be a difference.  Managing is about making the best decisions for you and your team while leadership is about maintaining your best qualities.  Team work is about a lot of the "C's," communication, community, common goals, clear direction and cooperation.  Though leadership you set the example and through your management you set the course of action.

I feel so fortunate to be apart of such great teams over and over again.  As a community builder and community manager, here are some tips from a manager prospective:

Get to know your team: The best way to know your team is to know the strengths and weaknesses of everyone on it.  So get to know your team, professionally, where do team members thrive and where can they be challenged?  I believe each member should be put in both positions for continual growth.

Be there:  As a manager, it is your priority to meet with your team, individually and as a group.  These scheduled meetings should be a priority as well as making time when situations come up and need to be addressed.

Feedback: Most managers only work with a one way feedback structure.  To be more effective, be sure to open at least a two-way path, where you are giving and also receiving feedback.  You want to make opportunities to receive feedback from all angles and almost everyone you work with even if they do not report to you directly.

Culture building:  I enjoy beginning and maintaining community traditions, this helps build community.  Getting community together to celebrate, honor, recognize achievements and important days that mean something to community members is certainly beneficial and fun.

Professional Development: Professional development is how you can support your team members to work on their weaknesses and overcome some challenges.  Some team members will understand what help they may need, others you may have to advise and encourage.  Introduce team members to mentors, coaches, trainings and websites.  I have always built in professional development opportunities into the regular staff meeting time.  Learning in community helps community build.

What is transformation?

For me, transformation is more than just change.  It is an improvement process.  I guess it is another buzz word we have heard for some time now.  It's larger than change because personal transformation involves physical, mental , spiritual and cultural advances.  This is a thorough, radical and intentional growth.  I admire butterflys for such a transformational process.  I wish that I could have and go through what seems to be a seamless journey.

I was very much inspired after completing another 21 day mediation led by Deepak and Oprah, entitled Manifesting grace through gratitude.  It talked a lot about what you need for real transformation, gratitude, openness, and finding success through inner fulfillment.  Such centering thoughts included, "My personal reality begins inside me,... I find true success through inner fulfillment,....My highest self is with me all the time,....My true self shines with its own light."

The journey of transformation is about being in your body, feeling your feelings and being grounded in your values and beliefs.  Increasing your self-awareness and self-discovery only leads to being fully the person you were meant to be.  This is all about living your best life; living the life you were intended to live.  I like the way Dr. Robin Smith describes her journey of self discovery from Hungry: the truth about being full, "There had been sightings of me-times when I could feel, see, touch and taste my true colors." For me this describes the intention of transformation; to connect with our true self.

Dr. Robin Smith also goes on to describe what she calls the "Painful P's,"  among them pleasing, proper, perfection, pressing, pushing, promoting self and proving.  I could see how easily any of these Ps could interrupt a change process.  This is much of the outside influences that slow us down from getting to our openness, and real thoughts of influence.  It feels that the word reinvent gets attached to people who are able to transform.  They are usually folks who are open to taking themselves to another level.  When you connect with the higher self that is present all the time, it is easy to reinvent yourself or should I say transform?

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a "F" bomb for some, scary for others and a regular practice for me.  Some do not want to forgive and/or are not ready to forgive.  Forgiveness is definitely for the self as opposed for the other person.  It is about letting go and moving forward from a situation.  Hopefully, you learned from the situation, by no means do you have to forget.  This is all apart of the learning.  Those who have a challenge with self forgiveness, may have a harder time with the forgiveness of others.

I prefer to choose compassion instead of bottling up feelings that would cause me distress.  Whatever feelings we have, we choose to have, no one else is responsible for such feelings.  The thing is when we hold on to resentments and anger, we cause ourselves more pain most times than we need to take on.  The following are some practices that enable me to practice forgiveness:

Visualization- When I need to release old thoughts and feelings about a past situation, I visualize the person I need to forgive and visualize me forgiving them in person.  If this is even hard for you to do, just send that person some love and light until you are ready.

Affirmations- I have realized in this practice, I find it easier to forgive others than myself.  Positive affirmations help me to release some of the pressure I put on myself and the choices I make in life.

I-Messages- This is a known practice in conflict resolution particularly with younger kids.  It is about using I statements when addressing a situation that generated feelings for you.  This is a great exercise to articulate your feelings.  Expressing your feelings are apart of the "I" statement in addition to making a request for how to move on from the situation.

Letters/Journaling- Write a letter to a person/(s) that you felt wronged you.  It helps to find release and burn the letter after you have expressed yourself fully.

Gratitude- As humans we tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive.  Take a moment and be grateful for any good that has come out of hard situations.  As we may have heard before, "If there is no struggle, there is no progress." from Frederick Douglass.

The value of diversity

"Diversity: the art of thinking independently together."- Malcolm Forbes, Publisher Forbes Magazine

Over the weekend, I decided to go see the film, Trainwreck.  I wanted to support a film with a female lead, a female lead that wrote the film.  As a woman, I feel that it is important to do things our way as opposed to imitating the dominant culture.  I admire those who embrace their uniqueness.  If not how do we celebrate diversity if we all operate only as to what is socially acceptable.

Diversity is a strength, celebrating difference as well as common ground helps unite and educate each other.  Take a moment and reflect on the diversity we have all around us.  This is beauty and celebrate it however you are able.

In some ways, everyone celebrates diversity everyday.  We live our individual lives, right?  The thing is the richness of diversity lies in the exchange of ideas and experiences.  You honor your lifestyle and who you are when you share this with others.  Those of us who are already seen as different in society, have to make a choice to stay engaged in diversity.  At times, we get tired of validating our differences.  We have to choose to educate or educate another day.

The value in diversity is learning from differences while forming new modes of commonality.  This is on going as new persons are born into this world with their individual thoughts and beliefs every moment. There is always room to learn something new and learn from someone new. As the global landscape is more connected and smaller in measure, how will you manage difference?  Keep in mind, the way you may categorize someone, may not be the same way they categorize themselves.

Time perception

The whole concept of time is fascinating to me.  How and why time may move slow as opposed to speed by is experienced by everyone.  Some who study the brain would say that time slows down when you are focused on something specific.  Others who study the brain would say that time is related to how we process the information that is coming at us. 

My sense of time has left me and I am okay with that. It feels like time is more of a friend to me, now.  I feel like my sense of time is different now because I am more present in each moment.  The past and future feel very close to the present.  I speak of things that happened years ago and it feels like yesterday. 

I wonder if this is all happening because I have learned how to focus better.  I can be in the now, easily.  I know with time, we don't sense it like our five senses of taste, touch, smell, seeing or hearing.  Time is perceived and I guess my awareness of how I am perceiving it is different, lately.  As years move, I appreciate presence more.  I go with the flow and enjoy the present moment. 

Perhaps this is also a sign of my increased ability to let things go and practice non attachment.  I find that this practice allows me to be more grounded in myself which invites me to be more present.  How do you stay grounded in yourself?  How do you keep your mind from racing?  What is your perception of time?  Do you know how to slow time down for yourself?

The hunger to be

I have been reading the book, Hungry: The Truth about Being Full by Dr. Robin L. Smith.  It is great for a foodie like me to take in the metaphor of being full.  For me, it describes being at peace with yourself and what that may look like.  Dr. Smith shares her process and how her hunger continues to impact her journey. 

As a seeker, I am always hungry.  Hungry to explore and see what I am led to.  Hungry for opportunities to be the best self I am able.  Certainly, hungry to be all of me most of the time.  As the book points out, "the truth is we are all craving to be who we were born to be, and our souls are crying, "I'm dying to be me." 

The hunger pains can be difficult.  I know at times I avoid going into battle and choose to go along to get along.  I admit I have my moments when I let life get the best of me.  We have so many layers going on among all the "isms," responsibilities, and making it through the day.  As my seeker quest expands and fulls in more of my life, I choose more often to be the turtle against the hare and take things slow and steady.  I feed myself more often than not with knowledge, artistry, culture as well as with affirmations, stillness and movement.  Although, hunger is a constant, I look to fill myself up with positive and healthy items.  I strive for balance in life as much I strive for a balanced meal.

What are the things you crave in life?  How and why do you fill yourself up?  As I mention from time to time, detox your beliefs and release those that no longer serve you.  As Dr. Smith states, the truth is: "it is costly to ignore and deny yourself."  If you are not getting full, take a moment to look at what you are filling yourself up with.