Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a "F" bomb for some, scary for others and a regular practice for me.  Some do not want to forgive and/or are not ready to forgive.  Forgiveness is definitely for the self as opposed for the other person.  It is about letting go and moving forward from a situation.  Hopefully, you learned from the situation, by no means do you have to forget.  This is all apart of the learning.  Those who have a challenge with self forgiveness, may have a harder time with the forgiveness of others.

I prefer to choose compassion instead of bottling up feelings that would cause me distress.  Whatever feelings we have, we choose to have, no one else is responsible for such feelings.  The thing is when we hold on to resentments and anger, we cause ourselves more pain most times than we need to take on.  The following are some practices that enable me to practice forgiveness:

Visualization- When I need to release old thoughts and feelings about a past situation, I visualize the person I need to forgive and visualize me forgiving them in person.  If this is even hard for you to do, just send that person some love and light until you are ready.

Affirmations- I have realized in this practice, I find it easier to forgive others than myself.  Positive affirmations help me to release some of the pressure I put on myself and the choices I make in life.

I-Messages- This is a known practice in conflict resolution particularly with younger kids.  It is about using I statements when addressing a situation that generated feelings for you.  This is a great exercise to articulate your feelings.  Expressing your feelings are apart of the "I" statement in addition to making a request for how to move on from the situation.

Letters/Journaling- Write a letter to a person/(s) that you felt wronged you.  It helps to find release and burn the letter after you have expressed yourself fully.

Gratitude- As humans we tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive.  Take a moment and be grateful for any good that has come out of hard situations.  As we may have heard before, "If there is no struggle, there is no progress." from Frederick Douglass.