It’s wonderful that there’s a larger conversation happening
on trauma. The recent book, What
happened to you? By Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey, explores a trauma
informed approach and describes specifically how our brain develops and is
impacted by trauma. For me, it’s
encouraging because it allows people to see beyond how people might show up and
it challenges us all to think about what happened and how they learn how to
love, specifically as opposed to reacting to our perceptions of how people show
up.
We have to be better than giving people what they give to
us. It’s like a game of hot potato,
everyone keeps passing on feelings until it lands on someone. This cycle just plays out over and over again
without no one moving forward and everyone just feeling stuck. This is where burn out and frustration stall
relationships on both sides.
If you take the approach that everyone suffers from trauma
and wonder what their trauma story is then you begin on the path of NOT making
it about you. You will be able to
practice not taking things personally and focus on getting to know what is
going on for the other person. This
allows success in building a supportive and forward moving working relationship. The type that sets up a win-win situation for
both parties.
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