Regulate, regulate, regulate

 

I know my parents did their best to raise me and I have turned out pretty good if I say so myself.  What I have learned from the trauma informed approach is that I was never a cry baby as I was labeled as a child.  I was crying out to be regulated emotionally by my parents and my needs were not always met.  Any infant/toddler has to rely on their parents to meet their every need.  One of my favorite memories from childhood when was I would crawl in between my parents to sleep and my dad would just shower me with kisses then rest his rough cheek on mine.  He would always ask how the beard felt against my face-the prickly short hairs never bothered me. 

Regulation is key for balance and to stay in tune with yourself.  Taking a wholistic approach has shown that the following are helpful to engage in on a regular basis:

·             Physical activity

Rhythmic movement provides that same regulation that the heart beat provided when you were in your mother’s womb.  This can include walking, dancing, and listening to music. 

·             Connection

This means going beyond exchanging texts and emails.  This means being fully present with everyone and especially love ones and like minded people.  Make time to connect regularly with your “soul” people. 

·             Time

Take however long needed to feel your feelings.  Also to process situations with others, it’s your timeline not theirs that should be followed.  When you are ready and feel safe, then you can decide whether you will respond and how.