Being an upstander

I recently was introduced to new curriculum addressing bullying situations.  The language and way the scenarios are explored certainly address our modern times.  It is very impressive.  It calls for our young people to become upstanders.  People who speak up against injustices with poise and grace.  Like the known saying goes, "It is not what you say but how you say it."

This message among other messages stand out in this new approach.  Now, I notice the language everywhere including the slogan for the recent Global Citizen Festival, it read, "We are not a generation of bystanders, we are global citizens."  I see a lot of people promoting the transition from bystander to upstander.  This is what we are inviting young people to do.

The word Upstander itself is inspiring.  I see stand up, get up, be up just in the word.  As an upstander myself, I do have to choose my battles.  I let go of those that are already being taken up by other fellow upstanders, thank you!  Bullying goes beyond the physical realm.  Now there are ways of hurting people without them even being physically present.  We have the internet and cell phones to do the trick.

Being an upstander calls on us to be compassionate.  Compassionate with those who are having a bad day.  Call upon these feelings when you get upset and remember that you have a piece of that person's bad day recorded on your phone.  Compassionate with those who decide to share a photo you don't like of yourself and you think about one that you know they will not like.  Let's treat others the way that we would want to be treated.  How do you practice being an upstander?  How do you engage in difficult conversations?

Making changes happen

Shonda Rhimes has made things happen for television.  I think we can learn a lot from her accomplishments.  She has broken into a media outlet that is extremely exclusive and has exceeded rapidly within the medium.  Here are some observations that will help any manager:

• Consistency

All of her television programs deliver.  I welcomed her three shows on ABC on Thursday, the night named #TGIT.  I like to think of it as Shondaland.  None of the shows have ever held back and this has been consistent since the start.

• Story Focused

I image the shows are all about moving the characters forward.  For managers we are always thinking about moving the mission forward.  Are we reaching the goals set forth for the year?  Are we hitting the smaller goals that are moving us toward the larger ones?

• Diversity

Not only are we presented with beautiful casts, they come in all colors, sizes and shapes.  They represent much of the viewing audience, I bet.  I know it is harder for organizations to integrate diversity.  A lot of organizations just don't know how to recruit and maintain an inclusive environment.

• Social issues

The shows don't seem to shy away from current social issues.  There have been story lines that are reminiscent of real life situations that have taken place.  Perhaps figuring out how to address current events and consistent community issues can help organizations build an inclusive environment that welcomes diversity regularly.

• Complex characters

It is great to see flawed individuals overcome different situations the best way they know how.  As managers, we have to make decisions that sometimes lead to complicated and unwanted outcomes.  It is about how we navigate through such situations.  How do we bring the team together and rally for the best outcomes?

This is probably no wonder why Shonda Rhimes have been able to excel and excel quickly.  I will continue to support #TGIT.  I actually could continue to name more observations about all three shows.  Congratulations to Shonda Rhimes, ABC and all those involved!

"We'd be free"

Here on the east coast we are about to transition to fall again.  The autumn season always invites me to reflect and regroup.  I guess the thought of this has me going already.  I was wondering about how the world would look like without all the ism's, racism, sexism, terrorism, homophobia, and so on.  Perhaps I could walk down the street without a cat call or someone feeling like they could comment about me while getting close to my face.  Perhaps I could walk into a store and genuinely be approached for assistance.

The Williams Institute examined the effects of exposure to everyday experiences of inequality.  No surprise to me, the study showed how stress takes a toll on the life and health of a person.  For me, it has been the difference between surviving and thriving.  The difference between consistently putting out fires, and taking the time to draw up a plan and implement it.  Martin Luther King Jr.  had a dream and shared this dream with the world.  We need to be sure to open up space for ourselves and others to dream.

We do have to get back to the realities of the world.  Even despite them, I strive to thrive.  I understand why it is hard to dream when you don't feel safe, or accepted or like you can be yourself.  I understand why it is hard to dream when you have been rejected, turned away, beaten, arrested and even killed.  The civil rights movement and now the #blacklivesmatter movement is working to decrease some of these stressors in our lives.  Naturally, we cope and navigate these stressors in all kinds of ways and the best way we can.

Well, I continue to image a world filled with equity.  I have moments where I act like it already exist.  Perhaps this habit will bring such circumstances into existence.  We even have the soundtrack made with John Lennon's song, Image; "You may say that I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one, I hope some day you'll join us and the world will be as one."

The beginning of Zen

For me, inner peace is a top priority.   I believe the battles we have in our minds can be won.  Our inner struggles must be confronted in order for us to live our best lives.  Let's explore some Zen habits that would help us with this; These are common themes from the Zen Buddhist framework:

• Being in the moment 

If you are eating then just eat.  If you are taking a walk, just take a walk.  When I focus on what I am doing, I notice I enjoy it more.  I know now this can be a challenge because we move so much faster with having all the technology you can have in the palm of your hand.  I no longer believe in the idea of multi-tasking but believe in doing one thing at a time.  When I do this, I feel like I am living.  I enjoy my food more, or whatever it is I am doing at the moment.

• Sitting Quietly

I hear my deepest thoughts in stillness.  I love when my stillness speaks.  Zen actually means meditation and you do not even have to mediate to take a moment and get grounded.  I gain so much clarity when I take a pause when needed.  When I notice I feel rushed, or overwhelmed, taking a step back helps me move forward.  The beginning of such practices leads to the art of non-thinking. Which is about clearing the mind and also getting into a rhythm with the mind to release unwanted thoughts and making room for the real thoughts.

• Compassion

When you practice compassion, you must remember to be compassionate with yourself.  Accepting your feelings will help.  This is not easy to do and we must learn to trust our responses; our feelings tell us what we really need.  Sitting in pain, sadness, joy, relief can be difficult and it is necessary for us to move though whatever is happening for us at the time.  Compassion covers all areas, be compassionate with yourself when your body is going through changes, be compassionate with yourself when your feelings are difficult to sit with, be compassionate with yourself when you struggle with sitting quietly.

Keep in mind, "Practice isn't the thing you do once you're good.  It's the thing you do that makes you good."-The Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

Show me a hero

I have been watching the HBO series, Show me a hero.  It has allowed me to explore the definition of a hero.  The one that I have found to be the best version of a hero is a person of distinguished courage or ability, admired for brave deeds and noble qualities.  I realized that my heroes today and in the past have always been young people.

The many unknown faces and names of the civil rights movement were college age students.  Now we have the young unsung heroes of the #blacklivesmatter movement.  Can you name at least five other folks that were apart of the civil rights movement besides Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks.  The #sayhername movement wants me to say more names, names that others may not know.

What is the ability that young people have to question ethics, and strategize for peaceful outcomes? What is it about young people that keeps innovation and community present?  I wonder if I was a college student or slightly older during the civil rights era and/or now if I would be entrenched in either movements.  I wonder if our unattachments to certain beliefs and inexperience in younger age makes it easier to act hero like.  Is it that we actually believe in more possibilities?

As we get older and move toward certain ways of doing things, does this get in the way of being a hero?  Does it get in the way of our lives period? Of course, heroes come in all shapes, sizes, shades and ages.  Society just seems to highlight those of a certain age.  Wisdom and experience speak volumes for valued contributions from individuals.

Be a role model

It is interesting how people ask others to be a mentor.  It is usually a stranger that gave a great first impression during a speech or event.  I rather be surrounded by advisors of all kinds and ages with all sorts of business and personal insights that can give me feedback and listen to my intended strategies.  People who know me and I have gotten to know. I am surrounded by role models and mentors, people that I admire and look up to and call friend/family.

Being a role model is the difference between leadership and management.  It is about how you carry and demonstrate your leadership.  The values you exude.  It certainly is a responsibility but one that anyone could bear.  It would just push you to be the best you.

Think about who you follow and emulate.  What communities are you apart of, on social media and otherwise.  Do these persons and communities hold the same values?  What will your legacy be?  What are their legacy intentions?

Most of us are role models anyway.  It is easier to look outside ourselves and give advice and guidance.  It almost seems to come, naturally for some of us.  The hard part is following such knowledge in our own lives. I learn from everyone and everywhere including my peers and those younger than me.  Perhaps that is why I continue to work with youth whose honesty and curiosity match my own.

For me, being a role model is about healthy competition.  I want to outdo myself at every turn not anyone else.  I want to stretch, grow and be the best me.  In order to do this, I am grateful to be within many circles and among leaders that challenge me, pull me up and tell me the honest truth.  Who are the positive role models in your life?  Who walks their talk in your circles?  How do you model after these folks?

Surprise, surprise?

Hollywood seems to be surprised with the success of the film, Straight outta Compton.  Are you surprised?  I know I am not.  Hip hop used to be ours and now it is global.  The film shares a big chunk of hip hop history, particularly within the west coast hip hop scene.  The film has already made over 100 million dollars.  Not bad for a tale about five guys from L.A.'s Compton, U.S.A.

For me, NWA was the influential rap group that led the west coast rise of hip hop.  I remember when Ice Cube  became a solo artist, I did not connect him to NWA as easily as the others.  His album, America's Most Wanted, had such an east coast sound (probably because of the production of the album which was recorded in New York), I almost did not recognize Ice Cube.  It is one of my favorite hip hop albums still.

Naturally, I was among a diverse audience  viewing the film in New York. I was happy to see all ages, genders and races.  The marketing for the film was brilliant.  Telling a story is one thing, building your audience is another.  We need to continue to tell our stories and we also need to work to share them.  My favorite social media tool is the Straight Outta (fill in) memes.

I know that time did not allow completeness of all stories from the film.  I was disappointed not to see any follow up of MC Ren and DJ Yella.  MC Ren was a strong lyricist and dominated the group after Ice Cube departed.  I guess a story told by mostly males, unconsciously or consciously left out the female presence in hip hop at the time.  J.J
Fad's Supersonic was apart of the Ruthless history.  We did not see Michel'le or even Yo-Yo.

In the movie, Ice Cube describes NWA's music as "reality rap."  This is a huge part of my love of hip hop, telling the stories others won't and can't tell.  The only thing is if hip hop raised you like me, you know there were some holes in this story.  Since the story is not complete, I am looking forward to more sides of the storytelling.  Well audience we can await similar films.  I am ready.