The question of balance

Balance seems to be a popular word these days that is overused. It is also a common question that I get as a coach and consultant, “How do I get more balance in my life?” I recently explored and reached a definition of the actual word, balance that works for me right now.

In a world that functions in multi-taking, I find that what people may be truly striving for is to be present. I think people who are asking about balance,are really striving for learning how to be present. We live in a culture where Attention Deficit Disorder is more than well known and over diagnosed. We need to re-learn and focus on doing tasks one at a time. Reach one goal at a time then move on to the next one.

I think balance for some is about giving equal time to different roles in their lives. I would not define balance in this way. I am not sure if this is achievable. Sometimes your role as a mother will take up more time than other roles in your life because your child is younger and needs more attention. Folks struggle with letting a role dominant their life, it can be a conscious or unconscious choice. Other times, you get stuck in a role you want to break out of.

The struggle here, I see is the desire to make time for one’s self. The questions we should be asking here is, how do I disconnect and take a break from doing? What would that look like? The gift is in the being, not doing. Like Ram Dass reminds us, “You are a human being, not human doing.”

Society is becoming commitment phobic, make a single commitment and follow though. If you have decided to spend the afternoon with your family then do just that. Turn off your phone if you know it will disengage you from any distractions. Relearning has to be done around NOT doing and being present. If you are doing three things at one time, you are not able to give a hundred percent. Being busy and maintaining being busy isn’t as honorable as it used to be unless of course your busy has a purpose.

So I will leave you with my new definition of balance. I explored what balance is during a workshop at the Black Girl Project’s annual sisterhood summit, where I asked a Kemetic Priestess her impressions of balance. I enjoyed what was shared; balance is staying on the road to your highest good. For me, that means staying connected with myself no matter what. That may mean that I need a moment of silence, you can ask that from anyone. It also means continuing to maintain my mediation and yoga practices. These practices keep me connected to my instincts and my true center. What rituals do you need to put in place to do that for yourself? What is your definition of balance?