Act as if

There is positive pretending that can go on in one’s life like what Harriet Lerner talks about in her book, the Dance of Connection. Pretending to have courage just may allow you to have enough to actually become more courageous when needed. We all know the phrase, “fake it until you make it.” Acting as if you are already who and what you want to become. Instead of faking it until you make it, in her TED talk, Amy Cuddy expresses a similar sentiment about the way body language shapes who you are. Amy suggests, “You fake it until you become it.”

In many ways we have been teaching kids all of these messages. Act as if you are sorry is an excellent example. When a child hits another child and/or has an unpleasant interaction, we ask them to apologize. Most likely, the younger the child, the more unknowing and unaware they are that they acted unpleasantly and even more so that an apology would be appropriate, right? It takes children awhile to understand why they are apologizing and with more experience they know when an apology is appropriate and needed.

Acting as if is a great strategy to reach a goal. You have a clear, focused intention. Amy also talks about how the mind influences the body just about the same as the body influences the mind. For acting as if to work, take on all of the details. How would your body feel? How would you look? What would you say? How do you feel?

This is your opportunity to have the full experience. Take on a mentor, who is who you want to be more of and/or in a position you aspire to. Join a like minded community where you have many people to exchange and share with about a specific topic and/or industry. Sites like meetup.com make it easy to do as such. Like attracts like so you can also initiate such a community in your own unique way. For example, I hold and participate in brunches with colleagues and peers I admire and know I can learn from.

So your assignment if you choose to is to act as if. You have to decide what that will be. Once you make that decision then, as Amy Cuddy suggests, “Fake it until you become it.” This may be easier than you ever imagined.